The Fortnightly Review: No. CCCCLXIII, New Series [‎662v] (215/239)

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NOSTALGIA.
She took his hand and passed it over her eyes. He repented.
“ What is it? What is it? Tell me—only tell me, Regina,
Regina! ” he urged, tenderly and anxiously.
“ It has nothing to do with you,” she said, hiding her face on his
breast, “ it's all my own fault. I don’t know why, but I can’t
conquer the past—the homesickness—and I’m afraid of the future.”
He also felt a mysterious fear.
” Why are you afraid of the future? ”
” Because—I suppose because we are poor. Rome is so horrid for
the poor. ”
‘‘But, Regina, we aren’t poor! ” he exclaimed with increasing
alarm, ‘‘ and anyhow, don’t we love each other? ”
“ To love—to vegetate—it’s not enough—not enough,” she
murmured.
‘‘ But you knew all about it, Regina! ”
“ I knew and I know. I’m furious with myself that I can’t over
come my aversion to this bourgeois life.”
“ But after all—down there at your home—what sort of life were
you leading? ”
“ Oh, Antonio! I had dreams! ”
“No,” he confessed, some years later, ‘‘ I was unable to realise
all the anguish in that cry; but I was afraid you’d never be happy
with me, and I felt unspeakable grief. Such was the humiliation
and distress which your unhappiness caused me, that at that moment
I would have committed any crime merely to give you the things
you had dreamed.”
However, he tried to lull her sorrow for the time being, administer
ing as to a sick person an innocuous soothing mixture.
Listen,” he said, ‘‘ it s just that you’re a bit homesick. You’ll
find that in a little time you 11 get used to it all. I admit our life
is rather cramped, but do you suppose the rich people are happy? ”
‘‘ It’s not riches I want! ”
“ What is it then? I’m not vulgar, am I? or stupid? After all,
it s with me you’ve got to live. Be reasonable. You shall make
your own surroundings just as you like them. Meantime, to cure
you of your homesickness, you can go home to your own country
whenever you like.”
The soothing mixture produced the desired effect. Regina raised
a radiant face.
In the spring! she cried impetuously, “ in the spring! ”
“ Whenever you wish. And you’ll see that in course of time ”
But the course of time only augmented Regina’s trouble.
The night of San-Stefano Antonio took her to the Costanzi Theatre,
to the Sedie. 1 bhe put on her smartest frock, her best trinkets, and
went to the theatre, resolved to be astonished at nothing, for had she
not already been to the theatre at Parma? The Costanzi was mag-
(1) The cheapest reserved seats.