The Fortnightly Review: No. CCCCLXIII, New Series [‎636v] (163/239)

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THE EXTRAVAGANT ECONOMY OF WOMEN.
indeed the supreme attribute of women ! For the economical one
it is a terrible ordeal to go shopping with a father or a brother;
a lover is different, he is still full of temporary patience. But
husbands and fathers have no patience.
“ If you like it, take it, but don’t waste people’s time,” says
the irate man, as if there weren’t innumerable steps to be taken
after the initial process of liking.
“ I think I can get it a little nicer at Smith’s,” you urge,
while your dear one looks at you cynically, for nicer means
cheaper, and he knows it. ” Come on then,” and he bundles
you into a cab, drives to Smith’s, and lets the cab wait while you
try to make up your mind. Those dreadful cabs, how they do
make the economical woman suffer. Did you ever hear a woman
declare that it is really cheaper in the end to take a cab? When
does a woman ever think of the end? The average woman avoids
a cab on principle. She feels it due to this same principle to
draggle her skirts through the mud, to get her feet wet, and to
come home an ” object.” But, thank goodness, she has saved a
cab fare, and you can get twelve quinine pills for tuppence.
Is it not also a part of our extravagant economy that makes
women eat such queer things when they are by their lonely
selves? What self-respecting man would lunch off a sultana
cake, a tart, or an ice? Show me the self-respecting woman
who has not done it! Women know how to cook—some of them
—but none of them know how to eat. A woman feels that to eat
well and substantially is a sheer waste—there is nothing to show
for it, but she would not hesitate a moment to spend even more
in something that she can show. A man doesn’t think twice
about having a ripping good dinner and a bottle of extra good
wine; he thinks it is money well spent , but he will be hanged
before he would buy himself an ornamental waistcoat and sustain
life on a penny bun.
What awful things we should eat if it were not for men ! I am
sure table d'hote dinners were invented by some philanthropist
to save women. ” I cannot eat d la carte," said a friend of mine
in a piteous burst of confidence, ” it’s just like eating money.”
So when her husband travels with her he always leads her to the
table d'hote if only to preserve her from starvation. When she is
resigned to the cost, she has an excellent appetite. I really think
if it were not for men women would wrap themselves in sable
and point lace and starve to death.
Is it not the woman who is the apostle of appearances? Go to
a dinner party where the wines and the food are rather poor and
well served, and you may be sure it is the fault of the dear female
economist at the head of the table.