The Fortnightly Review: No. CCCCLXIII, New Series [‎659r] (208/239)

NOSTALGIA.
177
d Azeglio for one year. Yet on the very day of signing the agreement
she repented, abandoning all self-control.
“ Was it worth while leaving my home and coming to Eome to
li ve m a box? I shall be suffocated! I shall die! ” she cried.
Nor could Antonio longer contain himself.
“ ^ ^° U ^ y° u wa nt? ” he exclaimed in a fury.
Did you imagine you were marrying a prince ? You knew all I had
to offer! You told me a hundred times you hadn’t corrupted your
soul with vain ambitions; you said you were robust and unselfish—
you said you didn’t ask impossible things of life! Why don’t you
look back instead of always looking ahead? Didn’t you say you were
a bit of a Socialist? Well then, why don’t you compare your
condition with that of millions and millions of other women? ”
She wept, leaning her forehead against the window pane. Of
course it was raining, and it seemed to her that the heavens wept
with her. She knew Antonio was right, although he looked at the
matter merely on its material side, and did not understand the real
causes of her discontent.
However, she laughed through her tears, laughed proudly and
ironically.
“ If you speak like that, we are done for,” she said.
He moderated his voice. “ I speak crossly,” he said, “ but I
ana full of hope. I am tired of seeing you so dissatisfied, Regina.
W hat do you want me to do ? What can I give you beyond what I
have that is, all my work, all my love, a good position, a morrow
without cares? ”
“He doesn’t understand,” she thought; “I shall suffer, but no
one shall perceive it, he least of all. I shall be always solitary.
Well? I don’t need anyone, do I? I’m strong, am I not? Are you
proposing to let your heart be seen, Regina, by all these odious little
people? ” And she shook her wings like a little bird which has
tumbled into dirty water.
Antonio came nearer, and they made it up.
You know, he said, stroking her hair, “ the agreement is only
for a year. Who knows what mayn’t happen in a year? I shall
apply for a rise, get a step; then we shall have our house rent free.
I 11 try to get extra work; perhaps Madame will put her whole
affairs into my hands. Our position will improve. We’ll take a
larger fiat—with a shorter stair. You’ll get used to the stair. Some
day you’ll laugh at having cried for such trifles. Now wash your
face. How ugly you are with those red eyes! ”
“ Ugly or pretty, I’m always myself! ” she said, plunging her face
into cold water; then she scrubbed it with the rough towel, powdered
herself, put on the lace scarf, and consented to go up and visit
Arduina.
They found that lady’s door open, and from the vestibule her voice
was heard in the drawing-room.
“ Who’s there? ” asked Regina.
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